Friday, February 24, 2012

Life is so....

....fragile: delicate, beautiful, tender and easily broken.

It comes and goes faster than lash touches lash. 

There's nothing like the death of a life to remind us of it's beautiful delicacy. We look back to treasure what we took for granted when it was displayed, almost forgotten, in it's glass case. 

Recently, another little one has left this world before it ever left it's mother's womb and I am reminded of the aftermath of loss. Having been there, I know, at least for me, what it was like. The numbness, the pain, the questions, the lids full of tears and the heart torn in two.

Miscarriage. The word alone seems to insinuate fault in the carrier. But we all know, that little life, it's not in our hands. So, when your friend, sister or acquaintance loses their baby early, what do you do? How can you help them heal? I have been thinking on this post for a while and here's my list of what was helpful to me as I was blessed with amazing friends and family who swooped in to love on me in my time of tragedy.

1. Pray for them. Never underestimate the blessing of this unseen task.  Pray for healing on multiple levels, grace to keep hoping in the midst of unexplainable tragedy, surreal joy and thanksgiving even in this kind of circumstance.

2. Bring an iron-rich meal.  It's possible there was significant blood loss for the mom. Making an iron-rich meal for them to help with energy and to build back up their iron stores. Iron washed down with Vitamin C makes for the perfect absorption. Spaghetti with meat sauce is easy, comforting and brimming with iron and vitamin C,  especially if you throw some sauteed greens in the mix.

3. Offer to care for her children. Pick them up and bring them home. Feed as needed. 

4. Share your story, if you have one. So often miscarriage is kept mute. We all know burdens are lightened when shared. I was so surprised to learn how many women around me had experienced the early loss of a child. Their empathy and words of wisdom about what the coming days held was invaluable to me.

5. Do their laundry. The grind doesn't pause in loss and if there are other children in the family, you can be sure the load of laundry is building. Pick up the laundry and bring it back---clean and folded. Bliss for any mom at any time, right?!?!

6. Be in touch. Call, email or send them a note. They may not respond but it helps to know that others are thinking of you and mourning with you. It confirms that there was a real loss,  and a real reason to grieve.

How do you help your sister ('cause we're all sisters, whether by blood or not...) in their time of need?

1 comment:

Tammy said...

Once again, my sweet angel, you wrote very eloquently and I'm quite sure that you blessed many lives now & in the future to come. Thank you for sharing something so personally deep & even painful. With much love~
Mama-in-love